A New Department

Today the Longbow News Service would like to welcome our new journalist department. Polar Bear: main writer. Doggy: editor/writer. Elephant: department manger. Baron Fox: world conqueror. Tiny Polar Bear (aka. Steel): cuddly mascot. When asked about his new position Polar Bear had this to say: “Writing isn’t so hard… Spelling words good is half the battle”.

Baron Fox had a slightly different opinion: “I WILL RULE THE COSMOS WITH AN IRON FIST!”.

Tiny Polar Bear was just happy to be there: “Yay, now I have a real job.”

Suffice to say they are all very happy to help. Their first article will come out tomorrow.

Expiration Dates

So today while we were eating lunch, Veronica was reading the expiration dates on the backs of the condiments. And in a sudden moment of thoughtfulness Veronica looked up and said, “I think if they have the day that it expires they should have the time it expires too”. So Mom and Dad explained to Veronica that the people who write the expiration dates don’t know the exact time that it expires. Besides if the expiration date were that specific I would be worried that if I ate the food a minute before it expired, that it would expire in my stomach. That being said I think this post belongs in the philosophy category.

The Armadillo of Legends!

The Armadillo of Legends: A Shadow on the Horizon

The Armadillo grit his teeth and whirled around to see what new horror stood behind him. To his surprise he saw not an enemy, but rather a tall thin bunny, grey and wrinkled with age.

The Armadillo stood on guard, but did not draw his sword. The rabbit didn’t look very threatening. “Excuse me, said the old bunny, I did not mean to startle you. Of course in your line of work you must be jumpy. My name is MyBunny. N. MyBunny.”

The bunny voice was not old and weak as one might have expected but was in fact, rather like a child talking in an assumed voice to make it sound older and different. The result was very humorous. The Armadillo’s eyes narrowed and the bunny continued, “As I was saying, I came to ask you to save the Princess Mary, who has been kidnapped by the Barons of Evil. I’m not sure yet what they want, but they are rapidly becoming the most evil group in the world. Will you help me?”

The Armadillo nodded in assent. “Excellent. I am afraid you will have to do most of the adventuring yourself, as I am not as young as I once was. I can however offer you some advice. They don’t call me The Wise Bunny for nothing… Well I guess no one actually calls me that but… Never mind. You will have to travel far to find where the Princess is hidden: across the Land of the Living, through the Valley of Din, down the Unending Way of Hall, and finally to the Blue Ruins if you wish to find the Princess.

Know this: the Fox is the leader of the Barons of Evil, and is smarter than all the animals put together. The Black Bear is strong enough to rip through cement walls. And the Racoon is a sharpshooter, master assassin. Together these three are the Barons of Evil; and they are unbeatable. Farewell, and good luck.”

The Armadillo turns and leaves to face this new challenge, to fight an unbeatable team of evil and save a princess he has never met. As he walks away the sun sets in blaze of scarlet and crimson reminding him of his quest for his arch nemesis, a quest he must lay aside till he has saved the Princess Mary. 

Who is his arch nemesis? Can he defeat the Barons of Evil?? What do the Barons of Evil even want??? Don’t miss the next thrilling installment of “The Armadillo of Legends”!

Spelling Errors… In a Spelling Book!

So today Veronica was filling in the blanks in a short story for her spelling. And she noticed that one of the words in the spelling book had been typed incorrectly. So Veronica simply corrected the error with her pencil and moved on.

Easter Eggs

This year we had a fairly easy time finding our Easter eggs. Because we ate them for dinner on Good Friday! Luckily I took some pictures of them before my siblings and I devoured them. We also had some eggs that had special designs on them. Like this polka dot egg. And this egg.We managed to make the designs on the eggs because Anne had the wonderful idea of dipping a Q-tip in the dye and then spreading it on the egg.

Dragon-Fly Lapel

Today while Mom and Nicholas were at the grocery store Nicholas get me a new bug. Most people buy food at a grocery store, but Nicholas got me a bug. Isn’t that nice! What happened was, as they were going through the checkout, the dragon-fly flew into one of the balloons filled with helium. It must have gotten dazed or something because it fell onto Nicholas’ lapel and just sat there as if it was his lapel pin. Knowing I would appreciate a new bug Nicholas grabbed it and brought it home.

Armadillo of Legends!

We now return to “The Armadillo of Legends: The Revenge of the Polar Bear!”.

Though surrounded the Armadillo is ever quick on his feet. Quickly turning around he threw his grappling hook and swung out of the fray. Recovering from their shock the Polar Bears turned to face the Armadillo in his new position. But the advantage of surprise had faded. The Armadillo stood before them with drawn sword. Quickly the Armadillo advanced toward their leader. The Armadillo jumped through the air slashing at Marcus, the leader of the Polar Bears, but Marcus flipped aside.

“I have learned some new tricks since our last meeting Armadillo,” he growled, “Alright guys, lets take him out.”

The Armadillo saw Gunter snarling to the right of him (Gunter fought like a beast gone mad, and no one knew if he just fought like he was feral, or if he was actually  feral). Hearing Sharp and Steel closing the gap behind him The Armadillo of Legends knew he had to act quickly. He jumped six feet in the air (as only an armadillo can (look it up)), and threw a fistful of flash powder on the ground. In the ensuing confusion, he whirled about to face the two behind him.  He delivered a powerful blow, striking Marcus across the face with the flat of his blade.

Pulling his grappling hook once more off of his belt, he threw it, and with the expert skill that only years of practice can give, he snaked the hook around the head of Steel and caught hold of the neck of Sharp. Pulling hard on the rope, he drew their heads together with a loud crack.

The Armadillo knew he had little time before Gunter was upon him so he hurled his boomerang in front of him. Jumping in the air once more he saw the boomerang return and smack Gunter in the face.

Regrouping as best that they could the Polar Bears began to retreat. “You win this time Armadillo, shouted Marcus over his shoulder, but we’ll attack again when you least expect it!”

Thus once more the Armadillo stands in victory over his foes. But even as the Polar Bears retreat a shadow looms up behind the Armadillo of Legends.  

Who is this shadow? What do they want from the Armadillo? Find out next Thursday!