The Armadillo of Legends: Defender of Stuffed Animals

The Armadillo of Legends: Defender of Stuffed Animals

Forced to pursue the villainous Elephant the Armadillo of Legends struck out across the clearing toward the neighboring village. Though still thirty yards away the Armadillo could already detect the effects of the mayhem. The fires roaring atop the buildings, the smell of burning tar and hay, and the shouts for help, mingled with the insane laughter of the evil Elephant. He hurried forward.

As he entered the village he surveyed the wreckage, trying to find the mad Doctor Elephant. This did not take long. Despite the Elephant’s immense weight he sat with astounding grace on a slender, floating, broomstick. The Elephant attacked the villagers alternating with his two weapons, a small wand, and a lazer-crossbow. The Elephant’s unearthly weapons, and his eerie laughter perturbed many of the villagers causing them to run in fear. The Armadillo however, is without fear. Sneaking up behind the Elephant he hurled his boomerang at his his foe’s voluminous head. The boomerang rebounding off the back of his head, the Elephant turned around trumpeting in anger. Unfortunately, the Armadillo had underestimated the strength of his enemy’s skull.

“Who dares to strike ME!!!”, roared the Elephant.

Even after he had discovered his assailant his eyes continued to dart from place to place. This rapid searching, almost nervous motion was contrasted by his seemingly calm and respectable demeanor, giving him the air of an insane mystic.

The Armadillo, however, wasted no time on a such a character study, insightful though it may be.  Rushing forward he jumped, twirled in the air, and struck the Elephant full in the face with his right foot. Following this with a shield brought heavy against the same target.  The Elephant fell from his broomstick. Recovering himself the Elephant fired two bolts with his gun that the Armadillo easily parried. While he fired he waved his wand in the air, summoning a large wind which blew the Armadillo away from him.

“Impudent FOOL!!!”, the Elephant roared, “You think you can attack ME; The Strength of Sages, The Duke of Doom, The Lord of Lard; and expect get away with it?!!”. The Armadillo snickered involuntarily at this last title, which only served to anger the Elephant more. Trumpeting out a vicious war cry, the Elephant bore down on the Armadillo putting all his weight behind his mighty charge. Placing his shield in front of him the Armadillo braced for impact.

To be continued…

Armadillo of Legends!

We now return to “The Armadillo of Legends: The Revenge of the Polar Bear!”.

Though surrounded the Armadillo is ever quick on his feet. Quickly turning around he threw his grappling hook and swung out of the fray. Recovering from their shock the Polar Bears turned to face the Armadillo in his new position. But the advantage of surprise had faded. The Armadillo stood before them with drawn sword. Quickly the Armadillo advanced toward their leader. The Armadillo jumped through the air slashing at Marcus, the leader of the Polar Bears, but Marcus flipped aside.

“I have learned some new tricks since our last meeting Armadillo,” he growled, “Alright guys, lets take him out.”

The Armadillo saw Gunter snarling to the right of him (Gunter fought like a beast gone mad, and no one knew if he just fought like he was feral, or if he was actually  feral). Hearing Sharp and Steel closing the gap behind him The Armadillo of Legends knew he had to act quickly. He jumped six feet in the air (as only an armadillo can (look it up)), and threw a fistful of flash powder on the ground. In the ensuing confusion, he whirled about to face the two behind him.  He delivered a powerful blow, striking Marcus across the face with the flat of his blade.

Pulling his grappling hook once more off of his belt, he threw it, and with the expert skill that only years of practice can give, he snaked the hook around the head of Steel and caught hold of the neck of Sharp. Pulling hard on the rope, he drew their heads together with a loud crack.

The Armadillo knew he had little time before Gunter was upon him so he hurled his boomerang in front of him. Jumping in the air once more he saw the boomerang return and smack Gunter in the face.

Regrouping as best that they could the Polar Bears began to retreat. “You win this time Armadillo, shouted Marcus over his shoulder, but we’ll attack again when you least expect it!”

Thus once more the Armadillo stands in victory over his foes. But even as the Polar Bears retreat a shadow looms up behind the Armadillo of Legends.  

Who is this shadow? What do they want from the Armadillo? Find out next Thursday!