Tag: Stupid

Gardenia Buffet

When we got up a couple of days ago we saw this guy having his breakfast in the gardenia. There must be plenty of bugs and lizards in the gardenia, because he has sitting in it eating every morning for the past few days. I think we should make him pay for it, you know like a bed and breakfast, or a hotel.

Minnie The Moocher

So Yesterday Stephen and I found a big problem with the song Minnie the Moocher. The song says she sat and counted a 1,000,000 dollars worth of nickels and dimes, a 1,000,000 times. Therefore, she had at least ten 10,000,001 coins (because she had to had at least two nickels). If she counted one coin per second she would have been dreaming for 10,000,000 seconds. Then she counted them a 1,000,000 times so that’s 10,000,001 times 1,000,000 which is 10 to the power of 13. If you divided it by all the seconds in the year, which is 1,314,000 (not including leap years), it’s about 317,097.95. So she ended up having that really boring dream for over 300,000 years. No wonder they say poor Min at the end of the song.

A Poem For How Much I Love You

I love you as much as water loves the sun,

I love you as much as old men love to run,

I love you as much as a baby not eating,

I love you as much as a baby when teething,

I love you as much as cats love dogs,

I love you as much as people love hogs,

In short, I hate you.

Never speak to me again,

At least until I am one-hundred and ten.

A poem for someone who won’t leave you alone.

Joke of the Week

So there were two guys who went out hiking together. One of them fell, and was unresponsive so the other guy called 911. My friend fell down and I can’t get him to wake up, the guy said, I think he might be dead. Okay, said the 911 operator, first you need to make sure he is dead. Then there was a pause, and then a gunshot. then the guy said, Okay, what now?

Twins?

Apparently Stephen just has one of those faces. People always think they have seen Stephen before, but they really haven’t, they just think that Stephen is Nicholas, or Jonathan, and occasionally even me! Lots of times people that Nicholas know, will talk to Stephen because they think he IS Nicholas. Yep, the amount of times Stephen has been asked if he is one of our twins is astounding. I guess I can understand thinking he is Nicholas or Jonathan’s twin, but ME! We look nothing alike. I think Stephen just needs to get his own face and stop looking like everyone else.

An Easier Way

You know I always think that there should an easier way to do things. Like when an author describes something in a really weird and confusing way instead just using a normal, understandable, sentence. Like when a person says something looks like a raging blue prairie instead of just saying that the water foamed and crashed around the boat (from Moby Dick). Or when all those linguists tried to figure out ancient Egyptian texts. They should have just asked an ancient Egyptian. And all the scientists who calculated the circumference of the world, they could have just used a tape-measure. Seriously though, some book descriptions are not understandable.

Roo Is Missing!

So, Veronica’s stuffed kangaroo, Roo, has been missing for the past three days, and Veronica has been worrying about where he is, and asking people if they have it. So, she decided she to give whoever found it a paper pearl as a reward. A little while later Christopher found it, and Veronica was so excited she decided to preform some sort of ceremony to honor Christopher. But, do you know how Christopher found Roo? He looked! Yep, the whole time Veronica was fretting about Roo she hadn’t even looked for him.

Stylish Plumeria!

I have always liked our plumeria, the way its branches bend instead of breaking, and the way the flowers look when it is in bloom. Recently however, when walking home from the park I have noticed that the plumeria looks kinda barren and sad. So I came with a great idea to restore its look of color and fullness, that is both practical and useful. We can use it as a hat-rack! That way you have a convenient place to hang your hats during a barbecue, your tree looks really stylish, and you can get a great new storage place. See! Even the shadow looks cool. The one problem is if it rains your hat will get wet, or the hat gets dirty, or rodents start living in it, or spiders and other bugs make a home it, or it gets blown away, or your hat could get stolen, or… okay maybe it really isn’t such a great idea.