Dragons beware! This is my sword.
And not only is it sharp, but it is also full tang, (I like sounding intelligent… especially about swords) and it has been blessed by Father Ramon. So now I am ready to fight any monster that dare enter my neighborhood. Of course I haven’t seen any dragons in the area yet… that’s how I know it’s working.
Category: Stupid
I Know I Have Problems
Yes, it’s true, I spell horribly. The more I write for this blog and comic the more I come to realize how truly atrocious my spelling is. I am aware of this defect, but I don’t wear it like a badge of honor as some people do. I once heard someone claim they spell badly because they think so quickly they don’t have the time to spell the words out. Well I spell badly because I’m too lazy to read and too disinterested to properly spellcheck or proofread.
Despite this faults I do want to do better, after all it’s embarrassing when your mother corrects your spelling, but when your kid sister correct your spelling you know it’s really bad, and no, I am not talking about Anne. I am talking about Veronica. She’s seven and I call her my secretary because she looks over my shoulder while I write and tells me when I’ve typed a word wrong. So I apologize for all the misspelled words and all the wrong “theirs.” In the future, if so inclined, please leave a comment letting me know so I can fix the problem and maybe improve. Most importantly always remember…it’s Veronica’s fault!
Headaches
Have you ever wondered why you get headaches? I’m sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for headaches, but I prefer to come up with lunatic explanations to explain them. My current theory is gremlins. Yep, tiny gremlins sneak into your head at night and beat on it with hammers. Yeah that makes sense…
Blogging
One of the first things I see when I log into WordPress is this little box that says Quick draft. Inside that box are the words What’s on your mind. I was thinking about this and I realized what’s on my mind is always blogging. When I’m on WordPress I always have blogging on my mind. So in answer to your question WordPress: Blogging, always blogging
It’s Not My Fault, Coffee Did it!
I have a terrible migraine today. In case you’ve never had one, a migraine is a lot like a headache, only it feels like there’s a jackhammer right behind one of your eyes. Like the responsible adult I am I have decided that my headache is clearly due to not getting enough coffee two days ago (thanks to the broken carafe) and not due to me staying up until one thirty last night writing an assembly level computer program to solve the quadratic equation (I only had a week to do the assignment so…I have no idea what I was thinking).
This bit of genius (blaming my headache on coffee not working into the A.M. on a complex computer program) lead me to an even greater stroke of genius. I’ll just blame all my problems on coffee (or rather lack of coffee). I play my song wrong, not enough coffee. I draw Nightstick, but he looks like a badger, not enough coffee. I drop a plate while clearing the table, too little caffeine. It’s a perfect plan!
Is Florida Poly Trying to Tell me Something?
I mean they better be, otherwise I better change schools, but that’s not what I mean. I received a notification today that I was eligible for early course registration (I finally get to register with the big boys!). Early registration for the spring semester begins on October 31st… at midnight.
Is the next semester going to haunt me?
If I was Water I Wouldn’t Get Wet!
I was working outside in the rain with my younger brother Jonathan when it started raining (in Florida the weather can go from sunny to rainy in 0.0 seconds). As my brother and I were pelted with atmospheric precipitation Jonathan says to me, “You know sometimes I wish I were made out of water so I wouldn’t get wet.”
“What?” I cried incredulously, “You wouldn’t be wet, you’d be water, you’d be the embodiment of wet.”
Jonathan stuck to his guns, “Water can’t be wet.”
Now you might think that Jonathan was on to some great philosophical truth for wanting to be water to avoid being wet, but I think it’s crazy, I just wanted an umbrella.
Thought of the Day
If the inability to sleep is insomnia, is constantly falling asleep somnia? If so, I’m fighting somnia.
Tiny Plastic Swords, Why Not?
But perhaps the bigger question is why? I mean I like the tiny swords too. They fascinated me as a youth walking through the grocery store, but now I wonder who decided, “Hey, I’m tired of using tooth picks to hold my maraschino cherries I need something cooler, something more exotic, and I don’t mean those little paper umbrellas (they are too feminine),” and then went on to invent the multicolor, transparent, plastic rapier.
Why were these things invented, why? Oh wait, never mind I figured it out.
Someone wanted discount giant lego swords!
Who Would Win a Fight?
A favorite subject of debate amongst my brethren and I is whether superhero A is better than superhero B. These debates are usually fruitless (dare I say ludicrous?) as it is impossible to judge one fictional mans skills against another. However I recently noticed that you actually could judge which of the Avengers from the Marvel movies is better! (The first team of Avengers, there are way too many now).
The first team consisted of Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, and Black Widow. This is how I thought they should be listed in order of power, but then I realized that Black Widow beat Hawkeye in the first Avengers movie so she must be more powerful than him. Of course, in the same movie she just fled from the Hulk so she’s less powerful than The Jade Giant (as was to be expected). Hulk also beat Thor in that movie confirming my suspicion that he was the strongest. However in the next Avenger movie he lost to Iron Man meaning that Iron Man was the most powerful.
So I thought Iron Man was the most powerful, but I was wrong! In his last move, Captain America Civil War, Captain America beat Iron Man! Thus, making Captain A the most powerful of all the original Avengers!
Pretty impressive for a seventy year old.