He’s a Mutie!!!!

So we all know about the X-men comics and how most of the normal people in them for some insane reason want to kill the X-men and all other mutants (but not other superheroes…weird). Furthermore, everyone in this weird universe assumes any abnormality is due to being a mutant (and they’re usually right!).  In light of this, I think if I were in the X-men universe I would probably get run out of town on a rail!

No, unfortunately I cannot shoot lasers out of my eyes and I am not invulnerable, I do not have metal claws and I am not covered in hair…well I guess I am, but only in the normal way (we’re all mammals right?), but I do have a couple of oddities. For instance, my left eye lid droops significantly, my right collar bone is bigger than my left, most of my bones have a point on them, my jaw was too small so all my teeth came in VERY badly (Mom had them fixed, but I kind of looked like a shark), and my lower jaw cannot extend past my upper jaw.

Now if normal humans in the X-men universe ever noticed even one of these traits they would raise a hue and cry and chase me from the town… or just kill me.  Now some people might rise to these citizen’s defense claiming they only attack people who are clearly mutants, but I am not exaggerating.  I read an eighties Marvel comic where a preteen boy threw one of his classmates.  Said classmate jumped to the natural conclusion that the boy who threw him must be a mutant (he wasn’t) so he got a pistol to shoot the boy.  Now I don’t know about you, but people threw me when I was a kid and it never even crossed my mind that they could have superpowers, but maybe I was wrong, maybe I’m the crazy one, maybe Phillip really is a mutant…

Who Would Win a Fight?

A favorite subject of debate amongst my brethren and I is whether superhero A is better than superhero B.  These debates are usually fruitless (dare I say ludicrous?) as it is impossible to judge one fictional mans skills against another.  However I recently noticed that you actually could judge which of the Avengers from the Marvel movies is better! (The first team of Avengers, there are way too many now).

The first team consisted of Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, and Black Widow.  This is how I thought they should be listed in order of power, but then I realized that Black Widow beat Hawkeye in the first Avengers movie so she must be more powerful than him.  Of course, in the same movie she just fled from the Hulk so she’s less powerful than The Jade Giant (as was to be expected).  Hulk also beat Thor in that movie confirming my suspicion that he was the strongest.  However in the next Avenger movie he lost to Iron Man meaning that Iron Man was the most powerful.

So I thought Iron Man was the most powerful, but I was wrong!  In his last move, Captain America Civil War, Captain America beat Iron Man!  Thus, making Captain A the most powerful of all the original Avengers!

Pretty impressive for a seventy year old.