The Tale of Two Birthdays

Back when I was very young (very, very young) the doctors gave my Mother the due date for her next child.  Though Mom had already had two children who completely missed their due dates (one was late, the next early), Mom felt that this was the day her next son would be born.

Sure enough I arrived right on time.  I was born several years ago on December 19th, but that’s not the cool part.  The cool part is that my father was born even more years ago on December 19th.

That’s right I was born on my due date on my father’s birthday.

I’ve been punctual ever since.

 

I Know I had Them Yesterday

Today Nicholas and Jonathan got up before me because Jonathan needed to attend a math test and he needed Nicholas to take him.  When I got up I showered and got dressed, but when I went to put my shoes on I couldn’t find them.  Ten minutes later they were still lost.  You guessed it, Jonathan was wearing them.  So I put on his shoes.

I ascertained later that Jonathan had put my shoes on by mistake, but I wouldn’t have blamed him if you had stolen them intentionally, his shoes are painful!  So yes, I can last a day in my brother’s shoes.  They’re just too tight.

Santa in a Candle!

Happy Gaudete Sunday everyone. Gaudete Sunday is the third Sunday of advent and is a day of celebration (unlike all those other feast days in advent…).

Today is the day we celebrate the nearness of Christmas. Today is the day that everyone wears pink (except Stephen), to show how happy they are. So, to celebrate this day I want to share with everyone one of our new favorite Christmas decorations. Santa in a candle!img_3526I think this could become a great new Christmas tradition like elf on a shelf, except Santa can’t move cause he’s stuck in a candle! Don’t ask me how he got there, because I don’t know. All I know is we were burning the candle, so the wax was all liquid, and somebody (Stephen or Nicholas) stuck Santa in the wax. Now Santa is trapped in the hardened wax. We could light the candle, melt the wax, and pull the jolly fat man out, or just burn the candle until Santa is free, but then we would lose this great decoration.

He’s a Mutie!!!!

So we all know about the X-men comics and how most of the normal people in them for some insane reason want to kill the X-men and all other mutants (but not other superheroes…weird). Furthermore, everyone in this weird universe assumes any abnormality is due to being a mutant (and they’re usually right!).  In light of this, I think if I were in the X-men universe I would probably get run out of town on a rail!

No, unfortunately I cannot shoot lasers out of my eyes and I am not invulnerable, I do not have metal claws and I am not covered in hair…well I guess I am, but only in the normal way (we’re all mammals right?), but I do have a couple of oddities. For instance, my left eye lid droops significantly, my right collar bone is bigger than my left, most of my bones have a point on them, my jaw was too small so all my teeth came in VERY badly (Mom had them fixed, but I kind of looked like a shark), and my lower jaw cannot extend past my upper jaw.

Now if normal humans in the X-men universe ever noticed even one of these traits they would raise a hue and cry and chase me from the town… or just kill me.  Now some people might rise to these citizen’s defense claiming they only attack people who are clearly mutants, but I am not exaggerating.  I read an eighties Marvel comic where a preteen boy threw one of his classmates.  Said classmate jumped to the natural conclusion that the boy who threw him must be a mutant (he wasn’t) so he got a pistol to shoot the boy.  Now I don’t know about you, but people threw me when I was a kid and it never even crossed my mind that they could have superpowers, but maybe I was wrong, maybe I’m the crazy one, maybe Phillip really is a mutant…

Oh What a Difference a Reed Makes!

I am currently experiencing the sublime ecstasy (well, maybe it’s only extreme joy (well, it’s at least a nice sense of satisfaction)) that I’m sure every woodwind player experiences after getting a new reed.

But this experience is even greater than the usual pleasure of playing with a good reed. Nay, the happiness is heightened by the horrible shape of my old reeds (they were grey and bent in half).  They were so bad I had to play with them for half an hour before I could play the set right.  These new reeds are better in every way.  They have better sound, better control…they even taste better.

I’m not Late if the Teacher’s Later!

You know you’ve been in college too long when you take into account how likely it is your teacher will be late for your class when determining when you need to start heading for school.  For example my Digital Media teacher is always at least five minutes late because he’s helping students from his previous class.  This means I have a five minute grace window before class, but my Machine Learning Professor is never late so I have to be in class precisely on time.

In case you’re wondering it was my Machine Learning class that sparked this bit of introspection, and no, I was not late.  I was in class precisely on time.

I Have a Skill and I Never Even Knew it!

I wore a black suit to school today with a bright blue shirt and vivid yellow tie.  Of course I also wore my favorite hat (a straw fedora I have been told is brown).  I was walking across campus when I noticed a group of grade schoolers being given a tour of Florida Poly (I couldn’t really have missed them there were three tour guides and over a hundred children).  My head was down as there was wind and I was taking care not to lose my hat to the lake again, but I noticed a boy ahead of me waving excitedly at me.  As I walked by I nodded to the young man.  He ceased waving as if shocked.  “Oh my gosh!” he shouted to his friends. “He even moves his head super cool!”

So there you have it. I have the awesome skill of moving my head super cool.  I didn’t even know that was a thing!

More Retro Lego

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Throwbots!

Anyone remember these guys? They were called Throwbots, or Slizers in Europe.  
They are without doubt my favorite of the Technique robot figures from Lego.  Maybe this is because they were the first set we owned when I was little, but I really don’t think so.  I think they were just the most innovative  and creative.  Not only do they all look cool and are all composed of the same type of pieces, but they also have great boxes/ships they fold up into.  These boxes even store their throwing disks!    Despite their similarities they are all completely unique.

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Jet

 

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Electro
Amazon
Amazon
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Granite
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Ski
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Turbo
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Torch
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Scuba

My favorite is Turbo (also called City in Europe).  He’s the light green car one.

Turbo Again!
Turbo Again!

And just in case you haven’t seen enough Throwobot pics…20161016_120020

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Jet from Above

 

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Nicholas’ Favorite
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Joseph’s Favorite

 

My first blog post/ My brother’s mask

Hello everyone my name is Jonathan and this is my very first blog post ( cue trumpet fanfare). It is a story I wrote for my college composition class at Polk State about a time we were left at home alone when we were younger.  Enjoy.

The Whole Story

“Hey, can someone get me some markers?” Mom called out one mid-summer afternoon about seven years ago.

“Sure, do you mind grabbing your markers, Joseph?” responded my oldest brother Nicholas.

Joseph, my thin olive-skinned older brother, hurriedly pushed his chair back from the oval mahogany table, then dashed off towards the upstairs.

“What’s taking him so long?” Mom asked after a few minutes.

“He keeps the markers in that little plastic safe and sometimes the lock gets stuck.”

“Wait, why does Joseph keep his markers in a safe?”

“Well once while you were gone, the little ones got into the markers and drew on themselves a little,” responded Nicholas

“Oh. You know, if you boys had been paying more attention, then the little ones wouldn’t havebeen able to draw on themselves.” That was all my mother had to say on the subject. Maybe that is because Nicholas did not tell her the whole story.

Mom and Dad had left the house, and we had just finished eating lunch. We did not use the dishwasher in our house, as it had a tendency to backup and fill with a dirty gray water, half-rotten vegetables and eggshells. To avoid this problem, we washed the dishes by hand. Amid the clinking sound of dishes bumping against each other, I could hear Nicholas and Stephen, the third oldest, working and laughing while Joseph played the video game. Nicholas told us that we would rotate through turns on the video game, and we all decided Joseph’s turn was first. While Nicholas was wiping the white laminate countertops, Stephen and I finished up drying the sparkling clean plates and silverware. All the while, I could hear the sounds of the video game punctuated by the occasional grunt from Joseph.

The video game was a relatively new item in our house. Mom and Dad had purchased it as a surprise gift. Like many privileges in our house, the video game came with certain rules : It couldn’t interfere with work, we could play for only fifteen minutes at a time, we had to ask mom before we played, and if Mom and Dad were gone we had to be watching our younger siblings at all times. When Mom and Dad were gone, these rules weren’t as well enforced as they should have been. In other words, we should have waited until the dishes were completely finished before we started playing the video game. As it was, the dishes became increasingly difficult to focus on.

After the wiping and drying were finished, I was left to sweep the floor while the other boys followed the siren call of the video game. I didn’t sweep the floor. Instead, I too was slowly drawn in by the video game’s hypnotic qualities. Like a rabbit mesmerized by a stoat, I was frozen staring at the TV. However, I had not completely forgotten about the kitchen. As I felt the broom slowly grow warm in my hands, I would suddenly jerk awake and wrench myself free from the video game’s grasp. After a few half-hearted brushes of the broom, I quickly returned to the front room sucked in by the mindless black hole of lights and sounds.

Suddenly, Nathaniel’s high-pitched voice piped up, “Look, we made masks!”

We all looked up, and in that moment the video game was forgotten. The warm, contented feeling left me, replaced immediately by a feeling of absolute terror combined with impending doom. My stomach tied itself into several knots, which must have rather inconvenienced the butterflies that had taken up residence within. The reason for my emotional disturbance was simple. Nathaniel had drawn intricate tribal-like masks directly on the little ones’ faces with the markers Joseph kept upstairs. Nathaniel had even made gloves for himself. Oh, and the markers, they weren’t washable. For a brief moment we sat there stunned. Then Nicholas issued marching orders.

“Joseph and Stephen, grab three hot soapy cloths and some water, and start scrubbing the little ones’ faces. Joseph, you clean Nathaniel’s face, Stephen; you clean Christopher; I’ll clean Anne’s face; and Jonathan, sweep the kitchen floor.”

While I hurriedly swept the floor, I could hear the low rumble of Joseph’s voice as he growled at Nathaniel. My broom made a swoosh sound as I kicked my sweeping into high gear. I could still hear the sounds of the little ones being cleaned. I could hear the sounds of Nathaniel’s indignant protest as Joseph growled and grumbled. I heard Anne’s occasional whimper immediately followed by Nicholas shushing her. Christopher endured his scrubbing with all the silence a two-year-old boy can muster. As I swept I thought about the day’s events, I recognized how lucky we were that the little ones hadn’t hurt themselves, I thought about how much trouble we would be in if Mom and Dad found out, and, most importantly, I wondered if I would get a turn on the video game. The feeling of impending doom never came to fruition because we managed to scrub every bit of that unwashable marker off of the little ones’ faces and hands before Mom and Dad came home. Because we cleaned up the marker before they came home, my parents did not know the story, at least not until we told them. We did not tell them the full story for seven years. By that time, we were sure there was no chance we would get in trouble.

It has been ten years since that day, and the story has become just another family story that gets told every so often. Invariably someone makes the point that we should have been paying better attention. For several years that story served to remind me to pay attention. Even now that story still keeps me alert and aware. Its ability to influence me lies less in what did happen but rather what might have happened. When I think back on it, I marvel at how lucky we were that nothing worse happened.

I never did get my video game turn that day.