Category: Stupid

Monday

Many of you know that today is the beginning of Daylight savings time. I know this because yesterday, Stephen’s phone told him that Daylight savings time begins all day today. What I bet you did not know, is that today is not Sunday, but actually Monday. After all if Daylight savings begins all day today, then at 12 the clock goes forward to 1 then it begins again, and 1 goes to 2 etc. etc. until it’s Monday. Dang, now we have to do school again.

Animal Show

Veronica put on an animal (stuffed animals) show today. There was a dinosaur that sword fought with its tail. A pink bear did gymnastics. There was a penguin that flew, and a duck that jumped at peoples faces. But the best act was a little pink mouse that ran around saying, “LITTLE PINK MOUSEY, LITTLE PINK MOUSEY, LITTLE PINK MOUSEY.” This act was clearly the best. After all the mouse was talking.

I Wonder…

You know sometimes I wonder, who ever thought of things like juggling? What person decided to throw multiple objects in the air and catch them? Sure it’s cool and all, but who got the idea? Most likely a farmer I think, since they would be playing with a lot of round fruit anyway. I guess handstands would be done to show off, but you’d think you would fall on you’re face a lot. And sword swallowing? Sure the guy who thought of that was REALLY intelligent.

If Pigs Could Fly.

A short article titled “If Pigs Could Fly”.

If pigs could fly… SCIENTIST WOULD GO CRAZY, THEY WOULD START STUDYING THOSE PIGS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW THEY GOT OF THE GROUND, I MEAN THEY MUST HAVE BIG WINGS SINCE BIRDS CAN FLY BECAUSE OF THEIR LIGHTER BONES, NOT TO MENTION THE PIG ARE JUST FAT IN GENERAL!

In short scientists would have a renewed interest in pigs and farmers would put roofs on their pigsties. There would also be a bigger bird poop problem. Always carry an umbrella.

Three Musketeers

So we recently watched the 2011 Three Musketeers movie, and I realized the musketeers in that movie, weren’t just really good swordsman, but they also had superpowers. Porthos was super strong (I mean SUPER strong), capable of ripping chains out cement walls. d’Artagnan had super luck powers, allowing him to walk through bullet storms, and hordes of armed enemy men. Aramis was basically just cooler than everyone else (no really I think that was his power). And finally Athos had the power of being whiny and kinda annoying. The movie also stole lines from the Princess Bride. I feel like this is important for some reason.

Gardenia Buffet

When we got up a couple of days ago we saw this guy having his breakfast in the gardenia. There must be plenty of bugs and lizards in the gardenia, because he has sitting in it eating every morning for the past few days. I think we should make him pay for it, you know like a bed and breakfast, or a hotel.

Minnie The Moocher

So Yesterday Stephen and I found a big problem with the song Minnie the Moocher. The song says she sat and counted a 1,000,000 dollars worth of nickels and dimes, a 1,000,000 times. Therefore, she had at least ten 10,000,001 coins (because she had to had at least two nickels). If she counted one coin per second she would have been dreaming for 10,000,000 seconds. Then she counted them a 1,000,000 times so that’s 10,000,001 times 1,000,000 which is 10 to the power of 13. If you divided it by all the seconds in the year, which is 1,314,000 (not including leap years), it’s about 317,097.95. So she ended up having that really boring dream for over 300,000 years. No wonder they say poor Min at the end of the song.