The Armadillo of Legends: Defender of Stuffed Animals

As the Armadillo turned and walked away from his aged advisor, a passerby, confused by the Armadillo’s outlandish garb asked the old bunny, “Who was that Armadillo? Where did he come from?”.

“Why, said MyBunny, how could you not know? That is the Armadillo of Legends! He comes from a village far away, and his tale is not a happy one.

He used to live quite happily in his own village. They had food, water, and shelter.  They were overall a prosperous town and more importantly a joyous one. They had the sun shine by day and the moonglow by night, the birds sang ceaselessly while the flowers bloomed. Sadly, nothing lasts forever. Eventually, tales of their good fortune spread reaching the ears of those who are most greedy, one of these was the dreaded Rainbow Dragon.

The Rainbow Dragon, bloated with greed, ever hungry for gold and power, descended on the town with all his flame and fury leaving nothing left, but a the charred remains of this once happy village.

Now the Armadillo wanders in search of this flaming terror, righting wrongs as he comes upon them, growing ever stronger and more experienced.Gaining power and wisdom until he can finally confront and vanquish his foe.

That is the tale of the Armadillo of Legends”.

“Wait, so everyone in his village just died?”

“No! Hearing that the Rainbow Dragon was coming, they packed their stuff and moved. They live in a nearby village”

“So how do you know all this?” the passerby quizzically queried.

“Looked it up on the internet. I mean! Because I’m so wise and all that stuff…”

A Joke

Recently I heard a rather amusing joke. Like most jokes however it probably won’t be as funny if you are reading it, but maybe you can tell it to a friend or something. Anyways, a man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a while the giraffe passes out and falls on the flour. Then, as the man gets up to leave the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t leave that lying there.” So the man says, “It isn’t a lion it’s a giraffe.”

(Cue laugh track)

Witch Doctor

So I was thinking about the Witch Doctor song (it’s a great song, I pity those who haven’t heard it), and it occurred to me why would this guy start by talking to a WITCH doctor. I mean seriously, that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. This is the one time someone with witch in their name has actually given sound advice. Lets just look at Hansel and Gretel. Climb into the oven she said, sure that sounds like a GREAT idea. Don’t misunderstand me, I really like the song, I just think the idea of asking a Witch Doctor for advice is not a good life model.