Art – Page 2 – League of the Longbow

A Cautionary Tale

A Cautionary Tale About Trying to Hard to be Fair

(In the style of Aesop’s Fables)

Once there were three distinguished gentlemen eating five evenly sized pastries. After each man had had one there were still two left. Not wishing to be rude, nor really wanting to exclude themselves from the treat, they decided to cut them all in half. After having once again eaten their fair share there still one half left. This they split in four equal pieces. Then the eighth that was left was divided in fourths, and so on, and so on, until there was only a molecule left. This they divided so that there was only an atom left. Which they split. Unfortunately the resulting atomic explosion killed them all.

I Wonder…

You know sometimes I wonder, who ever thought of things like juggling? What person decided to throw multiple objects in the air and catch them? Sure it’s cool and all, but who got the idea? Most likely a farmer I think, since they would be playing with a lot of round fruit anyway. I guess handstands would be done to show off, but you’d think you would fall on you’re face a lot. And sword swallowing? Sure the guy who thought of that was REALLY intelligent.

Three Musketeers

So we recently watched the 2011 Three Musketeers movie, and I realized the musketeers in that movie, weren’t just really good swordsman, but they also had superpowers. Porthos was super strong (I mean SUPER strong), capable of ripping chains out cement walls. d’Artagnan had super luck powers, allowing him to walk through bullet storms, and hordes of armed enemy men. Aramis was basically just cooler than everyone else (no really I think that was his power). And finally Athos had the power of being whiny and kinda annoying. The movie also stole lines from the Princess Bride. I feel like this is important for some reason.

Minnie The Moocher

So Yesterday Stephen and I found a big problem with the song Minnie the Moocher. The song says she sat and counted a 1,000,000 dollars worth of nickels and dimes, a 1,000,000 times. Therefore, she had at least ten 10,000,001 coins (because she had to had at least two nickels). If she counted one coin per second she would have been dreaming for 10,000,000 seconds. Then she counted them a 1,000,000 times so that’s 10,000,001 times 1,000,000 which is 10 to the power of 13. If you divided it by all the seconds in the year, which is 1,314,000 (not including leap years), it’s about 317,097.95. So she ended up having that really boring dream for over 300,000 years. No wonder they say poor Min at the end of the song.

A Poem For How Much I Love You

I love you as much as water loves the sun,

I love you as much as old men love to run,

I love you as much as a baby not eating,

I love you as much as a baby when teething,

I love you as much as cats love dogs,

I love you as much as people love hogs,

In short, I hate you.

Never speak to me again,

At least until I am one-hundred and ten.

A poem for someone who won’t leave you alone.

An Easier Way

You know I always think that there should an easier way to do things. Like when an author describes something in a really weird and confusing way instead just using a normal, understandable, sentence. Like when a person says something looks like a raging blue prairie instead of just saying that the water foamed and crashed around the boat (from Moby Dick). Or when all those linguists tried to figure out ancient Egyptian texts. They should have just asked an ancient Egyptian. And all the scientists who calculated the circumference of the world, they could have just used a tape-measure. Seriously though, some book descriptions are not understandable.

What Is It?

So, recently I was going through some of Stephen’s old drawings, and I found this!Why… would he draw this?

A Math Poem

Because what the world really needs a is poem about math, because then everyone can hate it!

Arcosine undoes cosine
Secant is the reciprocal of  Sine
y= ax^2 + bx +c is a parabola
but y = mx +b is a line

An "x" tells you when to multiply
So does a dot, I don't know why
I'd tell you about parenthesis
but I think you'd probably cry

log is a function, "e" a number
pi is two, it's really a bummer
it's 3.1415926535897932384624338
as well as 180 is there anything dumber?

When writing an equation orders necessary
x before y, y before z
but w comes last
that makes no sense to me.

it all seems so paradoxical
because math is supposed to be logical!

In case your wondering, yes, I wrote this for school.

The Pouncing Bobcat!

Today Veronica showed me her very first comic book! Maybe Stephen has a replacement. The comic is called the Pouncing Bobcat. It depicts what Veronica does in the morning: Jump out of bed, snuggle, eat a peanut butter snack, and eat an Ibis (wait…). Pretty good for a seven year old. Veronica says she would make more comics but she can never keep an idea in her head long enough to write it. Looks like you’re safe for now Stephen.

My Favorite Lego Sets

I had a chance this week to build and set up my favorite Lego sets of all time.

Those are the from a line of promotional Shell Lego sets. They were purchased by Mom and Dad when I was a little boy and I have always thought they were incredible.